Funeral Sermon for a Family Member with Dementia
Funeral Sermon for a Family Member With Dementia
A couple of posts ago I told you about my sister-in-law who had a rare form of dementia that gradually took her memory over a five-year period. In this post, I reflect on a funeral sermon for a family member with dementia that will address, in some way, the tragedy of this death.
Planning A Funeral For A Family Member
My brother asked me to “do” the funeral for his wife. That surprised me. For most of our adult lives we lived in different areas of the country. I tried to keep up by phone every few months with what was going on in his family. But the reality was that I was not part of his journey with dementia. However, I couldn’t deny the request, and so, I began to think about what to say. What Scripture would be appropriate? I found that making a funeral sermon for a family member with dementia is not a simple thing. Here’s what I landed on.
The Scripture
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
5 For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. 2 Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, 3 because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. 4 For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. 5 Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.
The Funeral Message
We grew up pretty poor. There were 8 kids in the family, and my father worked in a General Motors factory. So, a vacation priority was to be cheap. My father only took one week of vacation per year, and that vacation was planned to go see something accessible by car that would allow him to be back to work the next week. We would drive, see whatever the AAA triptik said was interesting along the way, and camp at night.
The other thing to know about those trips was that my father purchased the tent second hand at the Salvation Army thrift store. It functioned marginally when it was dry, but when it rained, we could tell little difference between outside and inside.
I decided to focus on this memory for my brother and the other family members in attendance. Then I transitioned to Paul, a tentmaker comparing our earthly bodies to a tent. No matter how good the materials, a tent is a temporary dwelling.
As tents get older, they deteriorate. As people get older, there is a deterioration there as well. I reflected on how that had happened with a beloved sister-in-law.
The conclusion
As I told some family stories about those trips, I transitioned by saying, “No matter how long the camping trip, there comes a time when you have to go home. So it was with Kathy. No more dementia for her. The next time you see her, she’ll know who you are, and love you.”
Conclusion
Yes, making a funeral sermon for a family member with dementia is challenging. But my brother called a couple weeks later to share how meaningful the message was for him.
So, find the common ground with family stories at such a time. But bring the message back to God’s promise that he is making all things new. Even memories.
For another person’s reflections on this subject, see here.
