Creating A Message for a Dementia Victim’s Funeral

Creating A Message for a Dementia Victim’s Funeral

In the last post I introduced you to two victims of long-term dementia, and indicated that in this post I would share notes on the messages I used in those situations.   In this post we will consider creating a message for a dementia victim’s funeral that will help mourners.  Let’s begin with Arnold in this post.

A Psalm 90 Dementia Message

The message that I crafted for Arnold, introduced in the last post, used reflections on selected verses from Psalm 90.  Selected verses of this psalm work for creating a message for a demential victim’s funeral that will bring comfort.

In the introduction, I told a story about a girl in a Sunday School class who was hearing the story about Abraham ready to sacrifice his son Isaac on the altar for the first time.  The teacher told the story dramatically, tracing the trip through the desert to the mountain where the sacrifice would take place.  All the while, Abraham was wondering how God could ask this of him.  The climb up the hill took a long time.  Isaac’s question about where they would get the sacrifice cut Abraham’s heart.  They get to the top of the mountain and prepare the altar.  Abraham’s heart is beating faster and faster by this time, but he proceeds to tie Isaac’s hands and feet.  He puts his son on the altar and raises the knife to kill the son of God’s promise.

The Challenge of

At this point in the story, the little girl in the class, who had never heard the story before, cried out, “Stop!  Oh, please don’t go on!  This story is too terrible!”

But before the teacher could answer, one of the other children in the story spoke up.  “Mary,” she said, “Don’t be silly.  This is one of God’s stories, and they always come out all right.”

I went on to ask the question.  Do they?  Do God’s stories always come out all right?  Arnold’s story would make us wonder, wouldn’t it?  Senility crept in over years, and finally dominated his life.

Creating A Message for Arnold’s Funeral

How do you use this in creating a funeral message for a dementia victim’s funeral?

I then told the story of visiting with Arnold a few weeks before when he was in the hospital.  He didn’t know why he was there or what happened to him.  Nor did he remember the surgery that was an attempt  to try to improve his circulation.

I asked him if he had a favorite Scripture that I could share.  He couldn’t remember any, of course.  I chose some verses from Psalm 90.  This psalm was written by Moses, the servant of God, and it is believed that it was written later in his life as he looked back and reflected.  Here are the key verses I shared.

¹ Lord, you have been our dwelling place
    throughout all generations.
² Before the mountains were born
    or you brought forth the whole world,
    from everlasting to everlasting you are God.